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Найти записи с меткой
Записи с меткой: humor
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
City folklore...
"Oт oднoгo мeнтa cлышaл, oни, нaзывaют дeвyшeк "кpaбикaми" и щac oбъяcню пoчeмy. Koгдa тyaлeты в клyбax зaняты, дeвyшки идyт пиcaть нa yлицy, и кoгдa нa ниx фoнapём мeнты cвeтят, oни нaчинaют бoкoм oт лyчикa пpятaтьcя, yпoлзaя в тeмный yгoл"
---------------- Now playing: Soul Brothers - Wakie Wakievia FoxyTunes
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** Ночь, бесоница, скукота... смотреть фильм онлайн Падшие Ангелы... или еще какой нибудь...
слушаю: Soul Brothers - Lawman | Powered by Last.fm
Метки: Link, folklore, Fun, humor, cinema, online, joke
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
Гром....
 ****************************************************************************************************Если Вам понадобилась няня, гувернантка, домработница или даже персональный семейный водитель. Обращайтесь в ЭТО агентство, фирма гарантирует безопасность как с финансовой так и с моральной сторон. Очень "трезвые" цены и максимально лояльное отношение к клиенту!
Метки: Fun, humor, comix, queer
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
Юмор.......
Из протокола суда по разводу:
"... Тяжких телесных повреждений я ей не наносил, просто чуть-чуть намазал тампон горчичкoй"
from buhoi
слушаю: Future Sound of London - Hallucination
Метки: Trash, Fun, humor, rus, joke
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
Бегемот-фашист Дольф!!!
слушаю: Future Sound of London - lizzard crawl
Метки: animal, humor, fun. ns. hitler, picture, joke
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
Things Just Fallin' Off
 This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I'm afraid to pee.---------------- Now playing: Stardelay - Why It is Warmvia FoxyTunes
слушаю: Stardelay - Why It is Warm | Powered by Last.fm
Метки: humor, joke
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
The Mystery of Childbirth
A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his parents, "How was I born?"
His mother awkwardly answers, "The stork brought you."
"Oh," says the boy. "Well, how were you and Daddy born?"
"Oh, the stork brought us, too, and Grandpa and Grandma."
The boy begins his paper, "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."---------------- Now playing: The Prodigy - Invaders Must Dievia FoxyTunes
Метки: humor, joke
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
Writing's Powerful Message
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer. When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!" He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.
----------------
Now playing: The Prodigy - Thunder
via FoxyTunes
слушаю: The Prodigy - Thunder | Powered by Last.fm
Метки: humor, joke
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
Кинопанорама
Если смотреть “Челюсти” наоборот, то это кино про то, как бедную акулу тошнит людьми до тех пор, пока они не откроют пляж. Если смотреть “Рембо” наоборот, то это кино про то, как Сталлоне исцеляет людей своими волшебными дырками от пуль. Если смотреть “LOST” наоборот, то это кино про то же самое, что и смотреть “LOST” не наоборот. Если смотреть “Бойцовский клуб” наоборот, то это кино про то, как Эдвард Нортон поднимается с низов общества и становится успешным членом социума, излечиваясь от шизофрении. Если смотреть трилогию “Властелин колец”, то это сага о том, как вулкан дарит маленькому мальчику кольцо всевластия, и потом, на протяжении трех серий, он пытается добраться домой. Если смотреть “Удивительную историю Бенджамина Баттона” наоброт, то ничего особо не поменяется. Если смотреть “Disaster Movie” наоборот, то тогда 70% фильма ты не перематываешь вперед, а перематываешь назад. Если смотреть “Реквием по мечте” наоборот, то ты понимаешь, насколько героин полезен - он излечивает твою мать, заставляет твою девушку бросить проституцию и вытаскивает твоего друга из тюрьмы. via ---------------- Now playing: Quico Pi de la Serra - Las compa?ias de acerovia FoxyTunes ------------- "ЧЕМОДАН БЛОГГЕРА 1.0"
слушаю: Quico Pi De La Serra - Las compaсias de acero | Powered by Last.
Метки: humor, cinema
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
Potential & Reality
A kid asks his father for help on a writing assignment. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
His father looks up thoughtfully and says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you've learned."
The kid is puzzled, but asks his mother. "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"
"Don't tell your father, but, yes, I would."
He then goes to his sister's room. "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"
She replies, "Omigod! Definitely!"
The kid goes back to his father. "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on $2 million bucks, but in reality, we're living with two sluts."---------------- Now playing: Quico Pi de la Serra - El quinto regimientovia FoxyTunes
Метки: humor, joke
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
Adam & GOD...
God was talking to Adam one day when Adam begins to lament. "God I'm lonely, I need a companion?" God replies, "Adam, I have the perfect person for you, she's beautiful, she's generous, and she'll be yours forever" "Adam, excited about the news begins to thank God over and over.sound great, but then stops and asks God, "Wait a minute, how much is she going to cost me?" "An arm and a leg," God replied jokingly. "That's pretty steep" said Adam, "What can I get for a rib?"---------------- Now playing: Kyle Gabler - World of Goo Beginningvia FoxyTunes
Метки: humor, joke
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
Joke of the Day
George W. Bush was getting off of Airforce One in Israel, when he walked passed Moses, who didn't seem to notice him. He turned to Moses and said, "I am George W. Bush, the President of the USA, the most powerful nation on earth. Why didn't you greet me?"
Moses replied, "The last time I spoke to a bush, we starved for 40 years!"---------------- Now playing: Santo Barrio - La Favoritavia FoxyTunes
слушаю: Santo Barrio - La Favorita | Powered by Last.fm
Метки: usa, humor, zydzi, joke
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
Toilet humor
слушаю: Professor Kliq - I'll Go Rhythm | Powered by Last.fm
Метки: Trash, toilet, humor, gif
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
Some humor...
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime -- Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor man takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?"
Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"---------------- Now playing: Dance Hall Crashers - He Wants Me Backvia FoxyTunes
Метки: humor
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
Работа в кризис...
слушаю: Skarface - Skarface Return | Powered by Last.fm
Метки: Trash, photo, humor
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
Старая добрая шутка...
По Германии едет автобус с туристами из Израиля. Водитель - немец. Мчит по автобану. Проезжают мимо указателя "Бухенвальд". Евреи обращаются к водителю:
- Любезный это место практически свято для еврейского народа. не можем ли мы на минуту отклониться от нашего маршрута и посетить этот памятник истории.
Водитель пытается отказать (маршрут, расписание...) Уговорили. Свернули,едут. Водитель, естественно нервничает. Автобус ломается где-то у глухого хутора.Разъяренный водитель направляется к ближайшему дому, чтобы вызвать помощь. Видит - на крыльце сидит толстый, рыжий бюргер и ест сосиски с пивом. Водитель обращается к нему: - Слушай, я тут.... евреев,.... будь они неладны, в Бухенвальд везу....автобус сломался... доехать не можем.... ты не мог бы мне помочь. Бюргер смотрит на него и отвечает:
- Извини, земляк... , у меня только микроволновка!
(с) in
слушаю: RoLLINGS - Half Pint Beer | Powered by Last.fm
Метки: humor, PR, zidy
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
А Кермит шалун однако...
слушаю: Jimmy Cliff - Hard Road To Travel | Powered by Last.fm
Метки: Trash, humor, gif
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
Одежда
слушаю: Zetazeroalfa - causa persa | Powered by Last.fm
Метки: Trash, FASHION, humor
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
Feel the Groove...
слушаю: DJ Hype - DJ_Hype-Drum_and_Bass_(Kiss)-SAT-28-01-2009 | Powered
Метки: Trash, humor, music, video
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
Опять...
 с бухого
слушаю: Laurel Aitken - Bad Minded Woman | Powered by Last.fm
Метки: Trash, art, humor
Jerzy Karpov
Jerzy Karpov
First Class Blondie
A beautiful young blond woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in coach.
The blond replies, "I'm young, blond and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."
Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blond problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in coach.
Again, the blond replies, "I'm young, blond and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."
The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blond with the co-pilot. The co-pilot says that he has a blond girlfriend, and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something into the blonde's ear.
She immediately gets up, says, "Thank you so much," hugs the co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the coach section. The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he had said to the woman.
He replies, "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to LA."
настроение: optimistic
слушаю: Depeche Mode - Clean
Метки: humor
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