в оригинальном башорге иногда интересные мысли встречаются

The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

Ради родителей переведу диалог на русский. Речь идет о продаже нашего товара...
диалог не выдуманный.

Пол: - Я всегда честен с покупателем
Я: - Но ты же не говоришь правду о качестве товара...
Пол: - С покупателем надо быть честным
Я: - Вот ты говоришь - ты честный с покупателем, но ведь реально о том, что товар к примеру б/у не говоришь - как это получается????
Пол: - Ну...это традиция такая...

Ухахатывались с прямых переводов названий животных - sea hedgehog - на самом деле sea-urchin или echinus, и god's cow - которая на самом деле lady bird.

Среди предметов которые преподают детям в школе затесался некий PDMU, как это расшифровывается дети не знали. Пришлось погуглить

Personal Development and Mutual Understanding (PDMU) focuses on encouraging each child to become personally, emotionally, socially and physically effective; to lead healthy, safe and fulfi lled lives and to become confi dent, independent and responsible citizens, making informed and responsible choices and decisions throughout their lives.
The purpose of PDMU as a separate Area of Learning within the primary curriculum is to provide the opportunity
for specific attention to be given to personal and emotional development, health and safety, relationships with others and develop a greater understanding of their place in the community and of its interdependent nature.

еще один предмет который по сокращению называют - PE. Но тут все понятно. Кроме этого преподаются - Literacy, Numerocy, Art, Religion/ Wjrld around us. Вот такое образование....

A skinhead stood in the dock accused of throwing a man from the 10th floor of a block of flats.
The judge asked, "Have u anything 2 say in yr defence B4 sentencing?"
The skinhead says, "He was only a Paki."
"That's not the fucking point," said the judge, "He could have hit somebody."

Mr Jones phones the estate agent & says ... "How come u've valued my house at 150k & u have valued Mr Mohammeds house next door at 200k?" The estate agents says ... "To be fair Mr Jones ... Mr Mohammed doesn't have a Paki living next door to him!!"

American, Frechman Englishman and Pakistani all on top of Eifel Tower. American throws a load of money over the edge. "what did you do that for?" the others ask. "we have so much money in the states that I can afford to".
The Frenchman throws loads of bottles of champagne over the top and says "we have so much champagne here that I can throw as much as I like over", The Pakistani looks at the Englishman and says "DONT YOU FUCKING DARE!"

> Subject: Who's racist?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> >
>
> > Police in London
> > have found a bomb outside a mosque..
> >
> >
> > They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it
> > inside...
> >
> >
> > ================================================
> >
> >
> > During last night's high winds an
> > African family were killed by a falling tree.
> >
> >
> > A
> > spokesman for the Birmingham City Council said 'We
> > didn't even know they were living up there'.
> >
> >
> > ================================================
> >
> >
> > Asian Minorities in the UK have
> > complained that there is not enough television shows with minorities
> > in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown
> > 5 times a week now.
> >
> >
> > ================================================
> >
> >
> >
> > I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick
> > pocketed.
> >
> > How could anyone stoop so low?
> >
> >
> >
> > ================================================
> >
> >
> > I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a
> > fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.
> > I shouted up
> > to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it
> > start?"
> >
> > ================================================
> >
> > And my favorite J
> >
> >
> > Two Indian
> > heroin addicts have injected themselves with curry powder by
> > mistake - both are in intensive care...
> >
> > One has a dodgy tikka and the other one is in a korma.
> >
> >
> >
> >

I still remember playtime at school. A bit of footie, sneaking a quick fag & trying to finger girls behind the bike sheds...
I fucking loved that caretaker job.



In my biology exam today i was asked to name 2 things commonly found in cells. Apparantly, Prods and niggers is not the correct answer.

Fill the blanks
1. BOO_S ??
2. _ _NDOM ??
3. F_ _ K ??
4. P_ N_S ??
5. PU_S_??



Ans:
1.BOOKS
2.RANDOM
3.FORK
4.PANTS
5.PULSE
May god bless U with a cleaner mind for the rest of 2010! ;)






Roses are red, nuts are brown, skirts go up, pants go down, body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in, it goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer its in, the stronger it gets, it comes out dripping and it starts to sag, its not what you think, its a tetleys teabag ;) Send it on to make every1 smile :D

Кстати отзовитесь или еще постить или ну их...в принципе их идея юмора должна быть уже понятна
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Always remember as the season of goodwill approaches that someone special is out there thinking of you and appreciates you for the impact you've made in their life...... Its not me, I think you're a cunt.

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Just a reminder 2morrow is " Hug A Retard Day ". So dont u Freak Out like u did last year... nobodys trying to hurt u.

Dear Grim Reaper. This year, you've taken my favourite actor Patrick Swayze, my favourite chef Keith Floyd and my favourite singer Stephen Gateley. Just to let you know, my favourite politician is Ian Paisley jnr!


Cops in Alabama found a black man who had been whipped, castrated, scalped, shot in the back 6 times, clubbed, set on fire, had his tongue cut out, dissembowled and hung from a tree. Sheriff Kenny K Keller said ' This is the worst case of suicide I've ever seen a nigger commit'.


U put the long hard shaft, into your hot waiting mouth,
u play with it round ur tongue,
in & out, in & out,
u feel it buildin up inside,
u go faster & faster,
until the white creamy liquid fills ur mouth,
u spit & its all over,

COLGATE,
take care of your teeth. Send to all your dirty minded mates.

Добрался до мобилки и все фотки и анегдоты перекачал
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Решил открыть новую рубрику в своем блоге - английский юмор. Это совсем не то, что обычно так называют. Для первого раза дам целую подборку анегдотов из тех, которые приходят мне по SMS. И по мере появления новых - добавлять. Собирался сделать это давно, но все руки не доходили...

When I was a kid, Mam would send me to the shops with 50p.
I could get a chicken, 2 pints of milk, a comic book, 6 eggs & a pair of jeans.
You can't do that these days..........

Fucking CCTV...!

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