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A place where ...
Записи с меткой: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
9 Reasons Why I'll never get nominated at mail.ru
As I browsed through the RSS feed I found this. This post was actually deleted the moment it was posted either because of a mistake or ... at a loss for words. Not that I'm attempting at being a super-dooper funny blogger, but it's nice to realize there are such mistakes because it made me weep and emotions are good.. ;(. And crying men are said to be sexy. More on crying men here!!!! !!!!
Alexander Pup номинант премии Лучший блог! from Коллекция нелепостей by pupsoid1 Блог Alexander Pup номинирован на премию "Лучший блог" в категории "Веселый блог". Считаешь, что блог Alexander Pup достоин победы? Проголосуй за него! (Поставить свою оценку ты можешь в блоге автора, в специальном блоке номинанта премии, расположенном в левой колонке) Также ты можешь поддержать Alexander Pup разместив кнопку участника премии в своем блоге. So here are some reasons my blog will never ever be nominated for something on mail.ru: 1. I'm a man diguised as a lovely fat woman with a very artistic cellulite.
2. My posts are written mostly in English and I hate words like "бложики, деффачка and пазитифф".
3. I sometimes post about Lost Penises and Broken Anuses.
4. I do not like asking people questions like "Брат, а ты эмо?"
5. I rarely post polls.
6. The videos on this blog are taken from youtube.
7. I'll never degenerate into saying: Мне кажется, вы банально не верите в то, что сами написали, а перо ваше гнусаво и лишено всякой выразительности, коей у других людей в избытке на нашем духовно обогощающем проекте.
8. I hate myself oftener than I love myself. And love for myself is basically manifested in masturbation.
9. I'll never be a member of such communities : http://my.mail.ru/community/ucheba_08
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
I'm a twisted f...
Yesterday we had a corporate gathering at school where I teach and well, I drank a bit more than usual and decided to tell a joke to cheer people up (everybody was keeping silent.) and add some fun to the party. I told them I'm a great lover of phrasal verbs. Apparently, they didn't like it, and one girl even dashed out of the room in panic and later called me a killjoy. I guess, I'm not that good at socializing.
Here's the joke A Shopworker feels horny and decides to have a wank there and then. Frapping away he hears the owner approaching, he panics and shoves his cock in the till.
"You look happy!" says the owner.
"Yeah," replies the worker, "I've just come into some money."
Метки: twisted pup, killjoy, My Own Ugly Self, phrasal verbs
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Merry Addictive X-mas
Food is terribly expensive during the holiday season. (к чему это я?) Ok, I wish you a Happy New Year everybody. I feel it in my knuckles I feel it in my toes
The cocaine is inside me
There's been an overdose
My T-shirt's all in vomit
I think I pissed my pants
Before this week is over
I will be feeding plants
Jingle bells - - - - to ride in the first class Mercedes Benz
to drive a perfect Chevroleaut (французкий спеллинг!!!) 
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
I'm famous!!!
This has been brought to me by Cheap Popularity Inc. I have been nominated for the most idiotic person of the year award.
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
My personality profile
I never liked doing test, but I always liked compiling them. However, from time to time, I steal a moment to take stock of my actions and analyze my personality. So here are the resultsof the test I've recently taken:
And I agree with some points at this stage in my life, but I will never tell anyone what particular points I agree with:
You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant.
Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle.
You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs.
For you, comfort and calm are very important.
You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection.
You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.
Lyrics HERE
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
For You
The world is quickly bored by the recital of misfortune, and willingly
avoids the sight of distress.
Maugham, W. Somerset If it hadn’t been for the internet
I’d have never met you.
My dead body would’ve been eaten up by worms
Happy birthday blogs.mail.ru
When I saw you on the Internet
Out my girlfriend I threw
Then I took my old Longman dictionary and started
Blogging here at blogs.mail.ru
I feel like a whore I blog more and more
My sick little world’s become less empty
Both you’ve made me believe
There’s a reason to live
I’ve been feeling so sick just latelyP.S. короче кричу я тут про пазитиффные деффачки, и заходит father-in-law. Странно так на меня смотрел ... долго и вопросительно. P.S. If I were a ежик or a castrated Масяня. .... P.S.S.
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Harder than I Thought
This is the extract from my new book called "Harder than I Thought".
It's about my off-line activities. And to be more specific, it describes my soul’s off-life uneventful existence.
My name’s Pup. At least they used to call me that when I was alive and on the Internet. Now, as you may have probably noticed, I am dead. In fact, I've been dead since Tuesday. And, at present, my body is placed in the casket for further burial, and there are people, some crying, some with sour and disgusted faces around it.
Why does it take three days to bury a person? Shit! I told them when I was alive that I wanted to be cremated, but they never seemed to listen. Or maybe it's because I was talking to their other ears located somewhere they usually see on? But, what's done cannot be undone.
So here I am, hands on the chest and very very dark blue. Not a single part of my face twitching. They have forced my eyelids shut using some five rubble coins, and what is generally called "a soul" of mine is standing behind the crowd ready to embark on a new career, a career of being nothing in the nothingness.
- He was a nervous type, but we liked him nonetheless.
Oops. Whom did that come from? Aha, my co-worker, Lena, and a very overweight battle-axe, who got her job through some of her numerous well-connected distant relatives. She couldn't certainly be looked upon as one of the representatives of the fair sex, because she indeed looked like a man. …
Are you still interested in what will happen next? Send an SMS to 0310-911, and you will never ever see the continuation of this idiotic story again. *** find the following English equivalents for the words below in the text:Бой-баба, по блату, слабый пол.
Choose the best answer: Judging by its title, what do you think the book is about?1. It’s about the suffering brought about by constipation. 2. It’s about the lies in the advertising industry. 3. It’s about pink elephants and delirium tremens. 4. It’s about a desperate attempt at writing a fiction book. 5. It’s about death and our place in it.
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
My Granny’s Favourite Songs
I absolutely adore my dear Grandma. I like her for always giving me good advice, having the right word for the right situation, encouraging me. I would never swap my grandmother for three different grandmothers. And although I haven't called her in ages, and think of her, I really do.
I have uploaded her favorite songs for my mobile flash card, and now every time I listen to those, the image of her stands out clearer and clearer in my head. I start remembering the salo and fazenda, vareniks and the Napolion cake, and lots of custards, the best fried potatoes in the world and the lip-smacking pickles and above all the quaffable samogonochka she used to produce using a big churn.
So here's my granny’s favourite 5 TOP songs:
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
настроение: retro
хочется: retro
слушаю: retro
Метки: My Own Ugly Self, my granny
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
It only happens when I'm drunk.
As you might probably know I quit drinking many months ago, i.e. I don't drink at all. I mean I have occasional beers from time to time, but today I let myself go ... yes literally GO . ... I remember my childhood and the gopniki who liked my childish voice when I tried to sing Zombie. They never took my money and gave me cigarretes for that. (Вот так я и заработал уважение .... LOL .... earned respect!!!!)
I'll say no more. This one is for the gopniki who may well be dead already.
Happy Halloween, Gopniki!
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
I met 2 gays
As I was returning home from work the other day, I met two very friendly guys. They asked me if I had a couple of cigarettes to give them and then asked me if I wanted y join them to go to the club together. Well, I was hurrying home and I said "Oh, thank you guys. I have a wife waiting for me at home. She will be very angry if I join you." Then they asked me if I had a camera in my mobile. "sure", I said. "Could you please take a picture of us, so that YOU remember how much we loved each other." I truly was embarrassed, but I plucked up enough courage to shoot them. And then I came home ... full of regret ... LOL. It happens sometimes ....
today, I met 2 guys in the street, we picked a flower, climbed tthe hill above the lake,
and secret thoughts they really had and then they asked me if could just join them above the lake
was I ever somewhere else? you know it's hard to say
I never saw gays like that before
around the world, across the sky.
they gave me everything and more,
and I came back ........
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Updates
As you might have probably noticed, I've updated my blog a lil bit. Time goes by, I've got lots of projects everywhere, but now I guess I will stick with mail.ru only. The service is gradually getting better and better.
I'm determined to make it the only place I'll be putting my thoughts and ideas in. Besides, I'm planning on expanding the educational element of my blog so that I could say it's the best English reference source created by a crazy mother fucker.
I'm not going to work on any other sites anymore. Because it's simply a waste of time and effort. (it only hinders my headway, and I'm set on gaining more knowledge every day. )
Synonyms: hinder, hamper, impede, obstruct, block, dam, barThese verbs mean to slow or prevent progress or movement. To hinder is to hold back and often implies stopping or prevention: The travelers were hindered by storms. To hamper is to hinder by or as if by fastening or entangling: His clothes hampered his efforts to swim to safety. To impede is to slow by making action or movement difficult: "Our journey was impeded by a thousand obstacles" Mary Shelley. Obstruct implies the presence of obstacles: A building obstructed our view of the mountains. Block refers to complete obstruction that prevents progress, passage, or action: "Do not block the way of inquiry" Charles S. Peirce. Dam suggests obstruction of the flow, progress, or release of something: She dammed the brook to form a pool. He dammed up his emotions. To bar is to prevent entry or exit or prohibit a course of action: The legislature passed laws that bar price fixing.
Метки: Blog Updates, My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
The discrepancy post
I often ask myself questions like "Why am I here" or "What makes me different from all other successful people in the world?".
I have spent 25 years of my life striving for something I haven't properly defined yet. I guess I haven't been born under the lucky star. And as you might have probably noticed I consider myself a loser.
So what is the difference between me and my idols? I wasn't destined to be half as smart and famous as these two guys: I can't growl like this dude (though when in the bathroom I try) far be it from me thinking I would ever possess any substantial knowledge of figures and numbers like the guy below and as a consequence I will never be a rich I will never become a mother or have a mouth like that My reality is one of never-ending hell which is represented by tedious gray as opposed to black and white ) days. It’s the life in the middle, the middle of nowhere, nothingness. I'm not even allow to play my guitar after 11. It wasn't if my creativeness works after 11 only. I have so many ideas at the moment but I can't realize them. Maybe she is right, and now I think that she is right 100%, whatever I do I will never ever be something.
настроение: Апатичное
хочется: shoot myself
слушаю: my inner anger
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Repairing
I hate repairs, of any sorts or any kinds. Because my hands, which are accurately described by my loving wife as growing from my anus, are not zatocheni pod any kind of manual work.
(I'm quick typing, though.)
Lamenate flooring, new furniture, new hopes, new LIFE. Once I'm finished, (approx. in 1,2 weeks) I'll be living in the bedroom of my dream with a high-tech computer corner + mini audiostudio. I WILL OVERCOME.
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
WTF???
I'm in despair! It takes me about 2 minutes to open my world in whatever browser I use! I can't upload music or pictures. Nothing! What the hell?
I tried Wordpress.org, livejournal.com,(http://enbooster.wordpress.com) blogspot.com (http://iusedtobealive.blogspot.com/). They all work fine. But their great miss is ABSENCE of Musical Players allowing you to listen to music you've uploaded.
Hate this sh...! I miss everybody on mail.ru
настроение: fucked up, and I mean it!
хочется: call the tech support of mail.ru
слушаю: my meowing pussycat Taisia
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Confessions of a Loser
Creating blocks? Why are they happening? My creativity took a sick leave. I open my eyes in the morning, get up, go to the balcony, smoke a cig checking my mail, take a shit, take a shower and then go to work. Boooorrrrrring!!!!! (the only thing that makes my day less miserable is Deadly English).
I’ve been thinking here. (Yes, I have!) and I’ve come to a logical conclusion:
"I am a shallow man". I’m bored with this life because I’m nothing.
This "song" shows the deepness of my shallowness (даже сама эта фраза говорит о том, что I’m a no-account nothing) If you were a little closer
We could leave this world and go there
Pick some daisies and some roses
Drink the juice of love in doses
They would see us in the coffin
Only when our hearts start stoppin’
And we’ll be there, I’m hopin’
Да, так, пусть всё будет так!
Даже если будут говорить, что я мудак
Даже если завтра вдруг собьёт меня авто
Мне, плевать, что люди скажут, что я был га…но
Даже если на башку мне завтра свалится кирпич
Что уж тут поделать? Всем известно: "Life’s a bitch"
Вот только как же смысл бытия постичь? How should I kill myself?
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Посвящается только мне известно кому.
IMHO the dumbest phrases you can possibly hear when one is about to dump his/her lover are:
Be happy. (= I wish you were dead, but I love you too much!!!)
Let me hug/kiss you before I go. (as if it’s gonna change anything!!!)
Aha. You see it’s cool. I’m on odnoklassniki.ru, too. Write me, I’ll answer with pleasure.
(Меня глубоко тронуло номер 3. ) Я заношу тебя в Черный Список! Will you stop sending messages I refuse to read?
You find pleasure in humbling me for the things I did.
I remember your prophecy you pronounced that night
I will suffer for everything that I didn’t do right.
I don’t wanna download the file
I don’t wanna see you all right
Better leave the rest in the mist
I don’t wanna know you exist.
I don’t wanna care whatcha think
I don’t wanna click on the link
I don’t wanna act by design
Everything I had wasn’t mine
No more fucking pangs and disclosures
No more goddam words and your tortures
No more stinky feet of your momma (momma‘s – correct variant, но рифма бы не попёрла)
Life is just a life, not a drama.
No more washing-up after parties
No more bitching sounds from your glottis
No more secret calls, SMS’s
Life goes on, I don’t need no stresses.
I don’t really care if you see me
I don’t really care if you read this
You’ve just added to the viewing statistics
Sure you were the best at linguistics.
Just leave me alone .
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Не очко обычно губит …
Do you like шансон (chanson)? If you do, you’re probably a marshrutchik … or better still some navorochenni flathead who owns one of those ubiquitous Ford Focuses.
Now I love music. But chanson is beyond my comprehension. I wonder if there exists a single native English speaker who’s keen on the zeks’ (and in some cases zeks’ girlfriends’) songs. Or if he heard one for the first time, would he feel happy about it and start singing along? These songs should be felt. Yes. That’s the word. They completely lose its original romanticism if anyone attempts at translating them into some other language (By romanticism in chanson it’s mostly meant: my soul is crying because I served a 20-years term for a triple murder and learnt to a T what the real law is all about and developed a taste for tea. I have a great pity for myself. But I don’t need your sympathy. And don’t mess with me, ‘cause I can easily stab you several times in the back. Why? I have nothing to lose anymore.)
Ведь согласитесь, замечательнейшая песня группы "Бутырка" теряет всякий смысл если попробывать перевести её на English.
My girl lives in the center (meaning "downtown"), I’m on the outskirts
She knows how to behave and I’m a bad guy.
(or … she knows ‘bout good behavior and I’m a hooligan)
Of course, there are exceptions. But why does the evil always win. This guy should be living now. Just to show the best examples of the original chanson romanticism. In memory of this man The spring has come again
The sunrays burn my hands
To be exact both palms of both my hands
And this fantastic girl that lived not far away
We used to spend much time before …
… One day I was accused of a robbery
They said I stole a van of fresh strawberry
I swear I had a foolproof alibi
And even if they think I’m a criminal
I’ll plead not guilty saying it was subliminal.
But now I know there’s no such thing as a 21 dollar bill.
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Stuff in My Profile or Why I am dead.
Broken hearts. Broken promises. Broken ribs. It happens everyday. What kind of pain is more painful – physical or mental? It’s all relative. You love one person and hate the other. But you hate that other person less than, for example, Hitler. It’s all relative. For some of us it’s a half-empty glass, for some it’s half-full. It’s all relative.
If you look at anything from relativity standpoint, life becomes easier. But, in this case, you find it diabolically hard to find arguments to support/negate any idea. So, the idea of relativity in itself is relative.
Anyways, what’s done can’t be undone. And when it’s over you don’t have to "mahat kulakami". You have to cope with the fact it’s over. (For it theoretically might be the beginning of something else).
(Yes, I’m hiding my true feelings behind the shit I’ve just written.)
People often ask me why I always write that I died in October in my profile. Well, I’ve had my share of love and trust. And now I’m gone. I wish I could make it plain.)
And I guess I’ve failed to express it in the song. Or? Everything is relative. Don’t you ever forget that! LOL
(I’m sorry, Granny, I didn’t mean to wake you up. )
I read his profile on mail.ru
And I thought to myself
He looks better than me
And then I saw her in his arms
And the kid in the pram smiling happily at me
She’s never gonna say I love you
I’m never gonna say I do
I couldn’t say good bye
You owned me
But now I’ll let you go … лети!
It’s not about the bed we shared
It’s not about the tears I shed
It’s not about the heart that bled
It’s all about the fact that in October I was dead
It’s funny how you broke my trust
It’s funny how things turned to dust
It’s funny now to see me dead.
And I saw your mom the other day in a crowded place
And when I said hello, she called me a kozel in so many different ways.
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Yes, I used to be a тича.
Yesterday as I was browsing my English collections I found these rhymes I used to make up for my students at school. Well, these rhymes show that my insanity started some 5 or 6 years ago.
Фонетическая зарядка для 5 класса (повторение числительных, Тема: My Pets)
Mary has eleven dogs,
Seven squirrels,
And two frogs.
But she hasn’t any cats
Though her flat is full of rats.
Фонетическая зарядка для 2 класса (по красной книжке что-то там)
I’ve got a friend.
She has a cat.
It is so funny,
And all that.
Фонетическая зарядка для 7 класса (Повторение: There is/are + some; Тема: My Room )
It was fun back then explaining that such sentences should be translated into Russian starting from the end.
There’s a carpet on the floor.
There’re blood stains near the door.
Some dead kittens on the mat.
You’re welcome to my flat!
Фонетическая зарядка для 6 класса (на показательном уроке, где я типа сдавал что-то на вторую или fuck knows what категорию)
I’m awfully afraid of dogs
‘Cause when it gets too dark
They suddenly run out of their kennels
And bark, and bark and bark!
Now, when I meet my students in the street or in marsh route cars, they ask me if I’m still as weird as I was once. Well, kids. I guess I am! P.S. I wake up in the morning.My mother wakes up too.She doesn’t have a husband,She’s got a breast tattoo.
Метки: My Own Ugly Self, Deadly Poetry
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Infected Sosok or The Nipple Master
What is bad blood, anyway? Ill-will? Malice? Hatred? Hate? Venom? I don’t think so. Bad blood is what I have inside me circulating. It all started about 10 years ago when I was operated on my thigh. It was a furuncle. Since then every year I’ve had at least 2 furuncles or гидроденит’s cut out on a regular basis. (=> не ходите девки замуж за больного чувака). I’ve had this shit on my armpits, on my ass, on my back, even on my mug (I wear moustache to conceal the scar).
This time it’s my NIPPLE!!! And nipples are sacred. Yes, that’s right. I wouldn’t want no damn surgeon work on my nipple. Biatch! So yesterday I acted one. I took a needle and incised the nipple. And what did I see??? Lots of PUS streaming down my fat masculine torso. Now, my sosok is recovering. My dear little poopsie is back in the saddle feeding on Levomikol (the best remedy for sucking pus outta ya.) This one is so raw and unprofessional, but it’s dedicated to you, my humble nipple. Infected sosok, it came as a shock It was so unexpected I took a needle and pierced the nipple What else was I supposed to do I wonder And you should have seen the pain I was in. It was so unexpected I started kicking, I started weeping But no one was around me You’re a bastard and it serves you right You got these nipple pains and they’re alright
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
I gonna be henpecked soon
July 19 is the day to grow up. I mean I gotta say good bye to my reckless living. I didn’t do that when I married first and I guess that was a mistake. Time to correct mistakes!
Well, This is it.
I’m gonna say good by to my bachelor’s life. In July.
I was so used to being lonely
I spent my days jerking off only
And browsed the internet all night.
I’m gonna say good by to my bachelor’s life. In July.
I washed my socks when I wanted
I shaved my face only when haunted
By my own ugly hairy smile.
And I still don’t understand WHY it’s happening
I’d rather be on my own
Sipping beer, zapping and listening to Led Zeppelin.
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
I suck at rapping or Я люблю Фета.
Dude, you rule. This one is for you This track is a combination of 5 things: 1. Mouth scratching 2. My abominable rapping both Russian and English marked by the lack of proper intonation and balls. 3. Nonsensical lyrics intensified by mispronounced lexemes. 4. Four lines that helped me get a 4 for the final sochinenie in Grade 9. 5. My love for John Scatman (Rest in Piece)… because I have a stutter too.
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
No Internet = Lots of Forgotten Porn
Yes. Internet has become an integral part of my life. I feel so addicted to it that my hands at times get wet and shaky. Even the super dooper Opera Mini won’t work here. (I’m living at granny’s at the moment waiting to get married). Besides, when I manage to connect it to mail.ru, I can’t leave or write comments. What to do? Start rummaging through the hard disk for some porn to ease the tension. So I did. And you know what? I inadvertently click on this notoriously sensational video "2 girls 1Cup". Two girls kiss and hug, then one of them defecates into a cup, then they eat and play with the feces and vomit on each other. Yummy, isn’t it? That was shocking, I must tell you. Then I remember I heard this song by Jon Lajoie (a Canadian bastard with an absurd sense of humor and whom I love like a gay.) Well, I couldn’t restrain myself from taking my dust-covered guitar in hand and trying to remember the lyrics of this hit.
I’m mad about remixes, Jon. Sorry for borrowing your love song. (oh… come on… the fact that it’s being borrowed only adds to its popularity.) P.S. I captured my reaction to the video. But because I’m naturally ugly, and even twice as ugly when surprised, I’m not gonna post it in here.
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
My Past (Imperfect)
I've stumbled upon my first post ever. I've had lots of fun re-reading it. I'm still laughing. Stipid I was, am and definitely will be. LOL
Starting a blog.
To some people writing comes easy. Some write witty blogposts when they get inspired being totally indifferent to the viewing statistics. Some write for pleasure, others write for money. I guess I’m none of these. I’ve always found it hard to start anything, and starting my own blog is, in my humblest opinion, a serious matter demanding careful consideration, the thing that should be done in a proper way. What I’m driving at is I’ve thought profoundly of what it would be about. This blog will be dedicated to emptiness of heart and mind that came to dominate my life after I had lost my faith in people. (in case someone should read this : don’t think I’m writing it for people to sympathize with or feel sorry for me). Enough of this blabber! I’ve made up my mind to use both English and Russian on this blog, simply because sometimes I (1) can get stuck thinking English or (2) need to avail myself of the opportunity to check if I still remember the intricacies of Russian grammar, spelling and punctuation. And one more thing, I can’t say I’m a flawless English speakah (in case someone should read this I make mistakes as any other living human being). So to summarize this amateurish preface of mine, I’ll write a thought that has just crossed my mind:
Иногда в голову врываются глупые мысли, но если голова пустая, какой от них damage? Как говоритcя, "If no thought your mind does visit, make your speech not to explicit" (Если в голову твою, мысли приходят не часто, не делай мысль свою слишком яркой!). I guess that’s all I’d like to submit as my first entry.
Метки: My Own Ugly Self, my past
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
How I failed languages or Привет, Дымася.
No matter how hard I try I can’t bring myself to start learning Spanish. Partly because of lack of time, partly because of my complete ineptitude. La bocca, la labra? Everytime I get down to learn a couple of Spanish pronouns I catch myself thinking about Дымася and his tours to Spain (he used to sing in a choir). I hate you whacker for taking back that рульный samouchitel with a Spanish flag on the cover!!! And now I’m going to take revenge! I have never learnt these languages. NOR HAVE YOU. (tongue out)
This one I guess in lame Portuguese (Prende la Vella – I heard it on your disc.Прикинь пошёл покурить на балкон, а зажигалка умерла. Пришлось взять спички. Ну тут и попёрло)
This one is in lame German (Your favorite Emo shit. LOL ) This one is in super lame French (I wonder if you still remember this beautiful song.) And even after all this I love you buddy.
Love, Your Dj. Gay.
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
I’m a 27-year-old kid.
 Some of my man acquaintances are machos, some have families and kids, some are serious "beyond measure". I am (and this is final) a retarded gentleman who despite having white hairs and stinky feet feels and acts as an underage college virgin-boy. The terrible part is I realize I’m never gonna change. Or if I’m robbed of this childish mentality, I’ll take my own life by, say, slicing my veins or … I have to stop here for my philosophical rants make it twice as hard for me to enjoy the life as it is. The song by 7 Раса, to my mind, reflects my current mood to the full. (Inasmuch as I’ve been unable to spot the track here on mail.ru, I’ll put a shorter (my) version here.)
P.S. I found the track later
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
To my friend Elena
 We all need friends. Even such stupid motherfuckers like me. You can roam about the world in search of a person you can share your feelings and emotions with or sit on your ass googling all over the internet in the hope of finding a soul mate who can enrich your own little world by simply saying the right word at the right time. I’m a lucky man, for I’ve found a friend who can do both. Her name is Helen. She is from Ukraine and, by the irony of fate, she does the same work as I did (before I started drinking… kidding). She is a teacher, an English teacher. I’d like to thank you, Elena, for making my life different, for adding more meaning to my pointless existence. I’m really sorry, Helen, but I am unable to express my feelings in some other … beautiful… way.
Прости за песенную чушь, которую несу я
Расчувствовался, блин, и, долбанувши, Ягуара банку
Пру я:
I can see another part of me
Looking down on me, thinking about me
In virtual reality
But is it really me or just bytes and bits?
What’s real now? Is it programmed what I feel?
Now question to those empty eyes in the mirror,
I will drink till I’m drunk and till the heat makes me shiver.
Stand and deliver my soul to these greedy hands around me
Or can I keep it inside me… free?
AHAHAHAHAHA EHEHEHEHE AHAHAHAHAHA
Now internet emotions, meals on wheels,
Laptopping fantasies, intellectual brain disease.
Love, channel surfing, switch, pitch
In fast motion, distortion
To this so-called real world
Enter own your risk with your heart on a hard disk.
Information enter, now it’s in your brain
What’s real, what’s unreal?
Is this all the same?
AHAHAHAHAHA EHEHEHEHE AHAHAHAHAHA
Elena Zamukova, life is not yet over .
P.S. Прости за "Чекитауча Мэн … не в тему."
P.P.S. Still hating my gay-March-cat-like voice.
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
What do you think of these skeletons?
As I see it, four Moldovia гастарбайтерс had gathered for a drink at a local bar and met an impressively-looking bimbo who they invited to spend the night with them at a dirty motel. At about 3 p.m. the room was set on fire by a bimbo’s drunk ex-hubby. Your guesses ….. 
Метки: My Own Ugly Self, skeletons
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Музыкальная криогеника.
I've always found these two show biz personalities as 2peas alike . Perhaps, they are one and the same alien replicated as a result of a mad scientist's trick. Time to make it all clear.
До заморозки (он пел в Red Hot Toilet Paper) После частичной разморзки (он в Rammstein)
Метки: My Own Ugly Self, Faces, frozen
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
I hate myself, Bilan, и это не шутка!
My singing sucks. And it's not just words. I hate my voice because it's neither sonorous nor stentorian, neither clear nor deep. In most cases i slur my words even if I'm not drunk and whenever I open my mouth people around me notice my cadence and say I sound gayish, plaintive and unemotional all at the same time. This makes me sad and even more depressing. But I'm not alone in this suffering. There's Osama somewhere out there bitching and weeping and thinking of Dmitry "Витёк" Билан who, unlike us, has a rich, mellifluous, cheerful and "ear-licking" voice. No wonder he's going to sing at the Eurovision Song Contest for the second time.  misses 
I'm in no way envious, no, no, far be it from me being envious at all. Some people lift weights, some steal, some die young, some are murdered by psychos in quiet nehbourhoods, some are mentally challenged. I'm a lucky "bastardous" Jack-of-all-trades and the master of none. So when I heard that Bin Laden changed his name for that of Osama Bilan Den, I thought: Dude, he might be suffering from the lack of a decent ungayish voice, just like I do.
Around 9 a.m. I suddenly hear this song on the radio and my worst suspicions are confirmed.
I can make out only the following: If you hear this lovely song,
There's a plane coming along,
Ohohoh I hope your limbs will be scattered around
Believe me, yankee,
I will kill ya
One by one I'll kill you
Check out my new song.
I'll see the White house burn to ashes
And your franatic dashes
A couple of bombs are enough, enough, enough.
Метки: My Own Ugly Self
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