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A place where ...
Записи с меткой: Real D.Bills
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Клотримазол??? Зачем???
ROTTERDAM, Netherlands, Feb. 3 (UPI) -- A student who was banned from attending classes at a Netherlands university due to his foot odor has won the right to return after a decade-long legal fight.
A judge ruled to allow Teunis Tenbrook, who was banned from attending classes at Erasmus University in Rotterdam after administrators said his foot odor was distracting to professors and students, to resume his education at the school after a 10-year lapse, The Sun reported Tuesday. The judge said professors and students would "just have to hold their noses and bear it" if the smell of Tenbrook's feet bothers them in the future. The school said its new policy is to fine smelly students rather than ban them from classes. Why do feet smell? 1. Scientific version; 2. My Father's Version: "because they grow outta ya ass". P.S. In order to make this post even more disgusting, I'll quote one of my favourite play-on-words-based joke: I was walking along the street the other day when I slipped in dog shit.
A minute later, some guy did exactly the same.
I said to him, "I just did that."
So he punched me in the face and called me a dirty bastard.
настроение: Смешливое
хочется: a little bit of sex
слушаю: moralizingz
Метки: Real D.Bills, Die Laughing, Human Zoo
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Plastic prostitutes
A Romanian entrepreneur has come under fire for putting plastic prostitutes on the street to advertise his garden gnome business.
Neighbours in Lilieci, Bacau county, complain the realistic figures distract motorists and are an unsuitable sight for local children.
Cristi Birgu, 27, who has just set up his business, defends his "aggressive advertising" and says the dummies will remain outside his house to drum up trade.
Apart from garden gnomes and prostitutes, he makes reproductions of Laurel and Hardy, Elvis, sports stars, cartoon characters and animals.
Mr Birgu said: "So far, my girls have attracted a lot of beeping from truck drivers but not too many customers. Sometimes I am afraid somebody might have an accident, arrested by the view, you know." Resident Gheorghe N said: "I don't think it's moral to display such objects on the street. "They are a bad influence especially for children not to mention there are a lot of people with respect for God here and who don't tolerate such things."
Метки: Real D.Bills, Die Laughing, Human Zoo, The Gifted Ones, Weird!, prostitute
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
The world is slowly going insane
you must have come across this piece of information in any other sources, but when I got in my mail this morning, I went like oh my God, the world is going crazy.
In Middletown, Ohio, a woman wearing a cow costume was arrested after chasing children, urinating on a porch and blocking traffic.
Метки: Real D.Bills, The Gifted Ones, Human Zoo
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Man grows penis on his arm
Doctors have replaced a man's penis with one grown on his forearm.
The 30-year-old Russian, named only as Sergei, has his 2-and-a-half-inch penis removed and attached to his arm. Using tissue it grew to 6-and-a-half inches and was sewn back on his groin in an 11-hour operation reports The Sun. A Moscow surgeon said the man will be able to have sex in a few months. He said: "Women will never suspect."
Метки: Weird!, Real D.Bills, Human Zoo, Lost Penis
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Excuse of the year?
A German lorry driver escaped a rap for driving while using a mobile phone - after claiming he was using it as an ear warmer.
A court in Hamm accepted Walter Klein's claims that he had been using the phone which was warm after being recharged to warm his ears.
It means he had not broken the law which says drivers can only make phone calls with a hands free set.
Klein, 43, told the court: "I had an earache and it was being made worse because the cab had not heated up yet - it takes a while on a big rig.
"So I grabbed the phone that had been on charge and put it to my ear, and that was when I was stopped by police."
The court accepted his claim after he produced an itemised telephone bill proving he had not been using the phone at the time he was stopped.
Метки: Real D.Bills, mobile, lame excuse
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Scots can now marry mothers-in-law
Scottish men can now marry their ex-mothers-in-law following legal changes by the Scottish Executive.
Scottish women are also free to marry their former fathers-in-law as a result of the changes, reports the Herald.
The family law reforms change laws dating back to 1567, based on the Old Testament, which said that if a man takes a wife and lies with her mother, all three should be burned alive.
The new law draws a new distinction between the continuing ban on marrying a blood relative, and the centuries-old ban on marrying those related "by affinity".
It was previously possible to marry a parent-in-law, but only after the death of both former spouses.
The Scots Law Commission recommended the change saying it made no sense and was unreasonable to retain the old law.
Метки: Real D.Bills, Human Zoo
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Gran, you're horny.
Edna Townsend ,70, and David Martin, 31, met and fell in love at an organ society meeting. Despite the age gap, David - who had never had a girlfriend before - said it was love at first sight. Organist David proposed to Edna under Weston-super-Mare pier on Valentine's Day this year. The couple, from Worle in Somerset, said the age differences was not a consideration because they both have "artistic temperaments".
Ms Townsend said she had settled for being single but a chance meeting with Mr Martin had made her change her mind.
Mr Martin, who has been profoundly deaf since the age of nine, is an accomplished organ player. Ms Townsend said: "I had heard quite a lot about this extraordinary young man and it really was love at first sight. 
"With me it's always been men's minds that has attracted. He is the friendliest, funniest and most beautiful man and we are very much in love."
Mr Martin added: "I've never had a relationship before. Before my life was all about music."
Метки: Real D.Bills, Die Laughing, Weird!, granny
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Outhouse Pervert
A US man was arrested after a teenage girl saw him staring up at her from a cesspit below a toilet seat. Police pulled the 45-year-old from the waste tank under a public toilet at a beauty spot in Albany, New Hampshire. Captain Jon Hebert, of the Carroll County Sheriff's Department, said firefighters hosed the man down before police handcuffed him. "We had to decontaminate him. We treated him as if he were hazardous material," he told the Union Leader. 
"I started this business in 1980, and I have never in my career encountered anybody in this type of situation."
The man, from Gardiner, Maine, was arrested in the White Mountain National Forest after the 14-year-old girl's parents called the police.
Police said the door to the waste tank was locked so he must have gone in through the toilet. He was wearing waders. Police charged the man with criminal trespass, and say he could face more charges.
Метки: Real D.Bills, loo
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Woman's farts ground plane
A plane had to make an emergency landing - after a passenger struck a match to cover up the smell of her flatulence.
The American Airlines flight from Washington to Dallas, Texas, landed in Nashville when travellers smelled burning. All 99 passengers and five crew were led off the aircraft and luggage was unloaded. The plane was searched burnt matches were found under a seat, reports the Sun. The woman, who lives near Dallas, admitted she struck the matches because she was embarrassed by the smell she was making.
The woman, who has not been named, was released without charge but was not allowed back on the jet. 
Метки: Real D.Bills, Human Zoo, fart
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
They call me AT.
A father in central China has been refused permission to name his son '@'. The dad wanted to name his son after keyboard character that appears in every email address, arguing it was now in common usage. But officials in Zhengzhou, Henan province, refused to register the name on a legal technicality, the Beijing Morning Post reported. Under Chinese law, all names must be capable of being translated into
Mandarin.
Метки: Die Laughing, Real D.Bills
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
One of my fav songs
 A song that contains the word f**k 20 times is heading for the top of the UK charts. The song, F**k It (I Don't Want You Back) by Irish-American singer Eamon, sold 65,000 copies in only two days. That's more than double the next highest new entry by D12, says The Sun.
The track, which has 33 swear words including six sh*ts, has been described as a ghetto version of Nothing Compares 2 U by Sinead O'Connor. The man behind the song is not a hard man gangster brought up in the ghetto. Instead he's a well educated, middle class guy from New York. He said: "When I was young, my mum washed my mouth with hot pepper when I cursed. It hurt bad!"
Eamon's single has been a smash in the US and he has even been credited with creating his own genre called "ho-wop" - a combination of hip-hop and doo-wop.
LIMP BIZKIT "Hot Dog" Ladies and gentlemen! Introducing the Chocolate Starfish! and the Hotdog Flavored Water Bring it on! Get the fuck up! Yeah! Check, one, two Listen up, listen up! Here we go It's a fucked up world A fucked up place Everybody's judged by their fucked up face Fucked up dreams Fucked up life A fucked up kid With a fucked up knife Fucked up moms And fucked up dads It's a fucked up a cop With a fucked up badge Fucked up job With fucked up pay And a fucked up boss Is a fucked up pain Fucked up press And fucked up lies Well, Lethal's in the back With the fact of the fires Hey, it's on Everybody knows it's on Hey, it's on Everybody knows it's on Ain't it a shame that you can't say "Fuck" Fuck's just a word And it's all fucked up Like a fucked up punk With a fucked up mouth A nine inch nail I'll get knocked the fuck out Fucked up aids From fucked up sex Fake ass titties On a fucked up chest We're all fucked up So whatcha wanna do? We fucked up me And fucked up you You wanna fuck me like an animal You'd like to burn me on the inside You like to think that I'm a perfect drug Just know that nothing you do Will bring you closer to me Ain't life a bitch? A fucked up bitch A fucked up sore with a fucked up stitch A fucked up head Is a fucked up shame Swinging on my nuts Is a fucked up game Jealousy filling up a fucked up mind It's real fucked up Like a fucked up crime If I say "Fuck", two more times That's forty six "Fucks" in this fucked up rhyme It's on Everybody knows it's on Hey, it's on Everybody knows it's on You wanna fuck me like an animal You'd like to burn me on the inside You like to think that I'm a perfect drug Just know that nothing you do Will bring you closer to me Hooo Haaa Haaaw! Listen up baby You.. can't.. bring.. me.. (bring me).. down I.. don't.. think.. so I don't want some You.. better.. check.. your.. (check it).. self Before.. you.. wreck.. your.. self Kiss.. my.. star.. fish My.. choco.. late.. Starfish.. punk Kiss.. my.. star.. fish My.. choco.. late.. Starfish.. punk You wanna fuck me like an animal You'd like to burn me on the inside You like to think that I'm a perfect drug Just know that nothing you do Will bring you closer to me
Метки: Real D.Bills, Weird!, Die Laughing, four-letter words
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Cat turns up alive at his funeral
A missing cat turned up at his own funeral.Owner Will Massingale from Bude, Cornwall, was stunned when Timmy wandered into the garden during the burial. Will then realised the dead cat was his neighbour's, reports The Sun. He said: "I thought I was hallucinating."
Inventor turns dead cats into diesel
A German inventor says he's found a way to make cheap diesel fuel out of dead cats. Dr Christian Koch, 55, from Kleinhartmannsdorf, said his method uses old tyres, weeds and animal cadavers. They are heated up to 300 Celsius to filter out hydrocarbon which is then turned into diesel by a catalytic converter. He said the resulting "high quality bio-diesel" costs just 15 pence per litre. Koch said the cadaver of a fully grown cat can produce 2.5 litres of fuel - meaning around 20 cats are needed for a full tank. He said: "I tank my car with my own diesel mixture and have driven it for 105,000 miles without any problems." Annelise Krauss of the Dresden Animal Protection Association blasted Koch's new diesel though, saying: "This is as bad as experimenting on animals."
Метки: Real D.Bills, Weird!, pets, cats
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Man's penis flushed down the loo
A man had to have his penis sewn back on after his girlfriend cut it off and flushed it down the loo.
Kim Tran, from Anchorage, Alaska reportedly persuaded him to let her tie his arms to a windowsill for kinky sex after a row about breaking up.
She then grabbed a kitchen knife and cut off his manhood reports The Sun.
Water board workers had to dismantle the loo to find his penis, which surgeons reattached.
The 35-year-old woman is in custody. Her boyfriend, 44, was not identified.
Метки: Real D.Bills, Human Zoo, Lost Penis
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
This girl's not gonna chat... for sure
Girl's button terror
A Hampshire student has spoken out about her rare phobia - a paralysing fear of buttons. Gillian Linkins, 22, can't even stand to be in the same room as friends and family who wear them. She first realised her fear aged seven, when she refused to put on her school blouse, reports The Sun. The sight of buttons sends her into panic attacks and boyfriend Nate Dorrington, 23, can only wear clothes with zips.
She said: "I've had the fear as long as I remember. My mum says I freaked out when it was time to get dressed.
"For me touching a button would be like touching a cockroach. It feels dirty, nasty and wrong. When I was younger my brother used to tease me by opening my mum's button tin. I hid in my bedroom until he put them away."
Gillian, of Waterlooville, tried in vain to hide her phobia from school pals in case she was picked on and has tried hypnotherapy, without success. Her phobia, koumpounophobia, affects one in 75,000 people.
She added: "Watching the children's TV show Button Moon is like being made to watch a horror movie. People just think I'm weird."
Метки: Real D.Bills, Weird!, phobia
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Saying 'I don't' in church
Swiss couples are flocking back to church - to get divorced. 
An official liturgy for divorce ceremonies is now being determined as so many couples want to end their marriages where they started.Zurich-based Protestant pastor Frank Worbs who is working on the liturgy said: "A ritual or symbolic process includes meetings with the priest beforehand in the same way that married couples have a meeting. He said: "It helps divorced people to get over the separation and achieve definite closure. Sometimes there is no other solution but to separate. "In such situations it is important to make the divorce as amicable as possible for the couple so that they can begin a new chapter in their lives. Other members of the family can also take part and come to terms with things more easily. "
President of the Zurich Reform Church, Ruedi Reich, said: "Going through a ceremony like this is a way of showing God that the marriage is over."
Метки: Real D.Bills, Weird!, refuse, the Lucky Ones
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
My granny used to be a spy
 An FBI website meant to teach children not to give out personal information while at a website violates child online safety laws by asking children to give out personal information.
The site invites child readers to take part in a Common Knowledge Foundation quiz on how to become an FBI agent which requires that the child first enter personal information; their home telephone number and address. Worse, Common Knowledge Foundation never obtained the law-required clearance to be asking these questions of children. But on the bright side, children come away with a clear understanding of how government operates.
Метки: Real D.Bills
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Couldn't be worse
A Commerce Township, Michigan man needs to work on how he handles rejection. Last Sunday, 27-year-old Jeremy McIntosh was arrested after he got dressed as a woman and repeatedly crashed his car into a lingerie store called Intimate Ideas that had refused to hire him earlier this year. Police say McIntosh was dolled up in, "facial makeup, lipstick, blue Capri pants, red flip-flops, a flowery blouse and a matching flowery women's bra."McIntosh, who caused about three thousand dollars worth of damage to Intimate Ideas, told authorities he's homeless and wanted to go to jail because he had nowhere else to go.
An unidentified man wandered around the hallways of a Billings, Montana Comfort Inn on Monday night, knocking on doors and asking guests to help him get into his room. After that, the man -- who was drunk -- tried to climb over the reception desk before police showed up and got him to lay down and surrender his weapon. Authorities arrested the man, who was only charged with disorderly conduct because he never actually pointed the gun at anyone.
A German farmer who married a woman he met on the internet has asked for the marriage to be annulled after finding out 'she' was a he. Wolfgang Zober, 55, from Naumburg, said: "I don't meet many women as I am often out in the fields working all day, and so a friend suggested I try internet dating. "I was delighted when I contacted Randy Victoria, 38, and was delighted when I met her and realised she was as lovely as her photographs. "She even knew loads about farming - I didn't realise that was because she used to be a farmer herself. "We only had a kiss and cuddle before we married. But on my wedding night she told me she had a penis - and that her real name was Ralf. I was devastated. "The only true thing she did say was that she had two children, but she was the father - not the mother."
Метки: Real D.Bills, Die Laughing
Alexander Pup
Alexander Pup
Dead man jailed
A Belgian judge has sentenced a dead man to eight months in prison and a £430 fine.
Joey Van den Broeck, 21, had been charged with assaulting his girlfriend and resisting arrest.
But he subsequently died in hospital in Antwerp after a road crash in Merksem, reports GVA.
A spokesman for Antwerp court said: "Unfortunately, he had been summoned to appear in court shortly before for beating up his girlfriend.
"When he didn't show up, the case went ahead without him. We didn't know about his death or the case would have expired."
Метки: Real D.Bills, Dead People
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